World Aids Day.  What does this mean for you?  Does it impact on your life in anyway?  16 Days of Activism of Violence against women and children.  Does this make you angry?  If so why?

I was discussing this issue with a few friends the past few days.  I have come to the conclusion that this country we are living in is in a very sad state at the moment.  We have to highlight a disease (Aids) that, to all intents and purposes, is totally preventable.  So how do we go about preventing the spread of this scourge that has taken hold of our society?  No sex?  Yeah right – if only it was that simple!

It would require that people in our society start respecting each other.  Respect that we are each entitled to our own opinion and should have the freedom to voice this opinion.  Voicing your opinion does not give you the right to attack or belittle someone else’s opinion.

Men do not need to rape women and children.  They do not need to beat their wives/partners into submission.  Men who do these things do not deserve to be called “men”.  They are cowards!!  I say this because it is a coward and a bully who will pick on someone who is not capable of fighting back.  It is a coward and a bully who has such a low self esteem that they need to attack those who are weaker in order to prove they are strong.  So how strong are you really when you beat up a woman who cannot fight back?  How strong are you really when you beat and rape a child?  Have you ever considered the fact that belittling someone or embarrassing them is also a form of abuse?  Or perhaps you paint them in a light that is unflattering?  Is this not also a form of abuse?  Perhaps you meant it as a joke?  Well if they are not laughing with you it’s not funny!  What about the excuse “they’re a victim of their upbringing”?  Really? So at what point do they become an adult and start to realise they have a choice to do the right or wrong thing?

Why is it so hard to have respect for others?  Why, when confronted with 16 days of Activism against violence towards Women & Children, do some men feel the need to vehemently defend themselves?  Do you really believe that “she hit me first” is a valid excuse?  If we’re talking about it as a general subject, why would you feel the need to defend and say “not all men do that” or “you can’t paint all men with the same brush”?  Of course not ALL men are like that!  It’s logical – but only the cowards and bullies are dumb enough not to know that all reasonable people in society actually realise this.

How about having respect for yourself?  Of course you have the right to “sleep around” if this is what you like to do.  But if you get Aids, what is the burden on your family and loved ones?  No matter how horrible you are, there’s someone in this big wide world who loves you.  How selfish of you not to consider the burden on them should you get ill and then die.

I believe that all women and children deserve to be loved and treated well.  Now I can almost hear some men reading this thumping their fist on the desk and bellowing “but not all women are innocent either”.  Yes you are right!!  Not all women are innocent.  But think about it this way for a minute.  Perhaps you are a bully, perhaps you like to dominate and assert your power over those less powerful than you.  How would you feel if those you are bullying loved you?  I’m not talking about cowering in fear, I’m talking about absolute love.  Loving you just because you, as a human being, deserve to be loved.  Loving you in a way that says, you don’t need to beat, rape or abuse me.  I love you, I will not desert you, I will not judge you, I will stand by you through thick and thin.  Would that kind of love not be preferable to “fake love” because they are cowering in fear?  I’m talking to men and women here.  Men who hurt women and children and women who hurt children and sometimes the men in their lives.   Does it really fulfill you to have someone stay with you out of fear instead of love?

Let’s stop focusing on the symptoms and look at the root cause of the problem.  Let’s make a conscious decision to love and respect those around us.  Not just our loved ones – everyone.  Act and speak out of a heart of love and respect.  Of course this does not mean you become a doormat and that people can get away with murder.  But it does mean that within firm boundaries, we love and respect people because as human beings that is the very least they deserve.  This applies to you as well.  Set firm boundaries on how you will allow yourself to be treated.  If you are not being loved and respected, then do something to change it.  But again, speak and act from a heart of love and respect.

And for goodness sake stop blaming others.  Other people are NOT responsible for the way in which you choose to respond.  Note I say “respond” not “react”.  A reaction is immediate and generally not much thought has gone into what is said or done.  A response, on the other hand, is considered and chosen,  and only then spoken or acted out.  Be responsible for yourself.  No matter now hard you try you cannot and will never be able to change the response or reactions of others.  You can only control and change yourself.

Why not start today?  What do you have to lose by being more loving, respectful and tolerant?

Let tomorrow's sunrise be your new beginning, you deserve it