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Why I decided to home school

May 13, 2010

The decision to home school was not an easy one. It took me many agonising months and plenty of research before I made the decision.

It all started when the principal of my sons’ school called me in for a meeting. According to her and the teacher, they said my son had ADHD and needed to be medicated. I was blown away and reeling from shock. There had been a few incidents the year before where he had lashed out at a few kids. The teachers disciplined him and so did I – quite harshly. At the end of the year I found out that there were 3 boys who had been bullying my son – which is why he lashed out at them. Now this? They said he wasn’t paying attention in class, was disruptive and didn’t complete his work with care.

I went home, shocked, worried and so confused. What now? What do I do? Where do I get help? I found a wonderful therapist who agreed to assess him. She said that once she had done a proper assessment, she would help me to find any help that I needed.

He had about 6 sessions at the therapist. During this time I followed her instruction and changed his diet to see if it made a difference. She said that a wrong diet can severely affect a child who does have ADD/ADHD

When she finally set up a feedback meeting with me I was so scared. Scared for my child, scared for me, scared because I just didn’t know who to turn to. The outcome of the assessment was:

At 4 years 10 months old, he had the intelligence of a child that is 6 years 5 months old. He had the language and cognitive ability of a child of 7 years 2 months old.
He did not complete his work carefully because it was too easy and he was bored.
He was disruptive in class because he was bored and the teacher did not stimulate him enough
He did have SOME traits of a child with ADD but it was too early to tell as many kids outgrow this by the time they are 6.
She would not recommend medicating him as he was still too young and she felt that with adequate stimulation the problems would disappear.

Still concerned and not wanting to trust only one person’s opinion, I took him to a paediatrician who has experience in these matters. He said exactly the same thing, but added that this principal was known for incorrectly diagnosing kids with ADD/ADHD. He added a few other rather unflattering opinions about her that was apparently the consensus of the medical community.

I went back to her with these reports, relieved and happy. I believed that I had found the solution to the problem and all was well. I couldn’t have been more wrong. She reacted in a way that made me lose all respect for her. She was totally indignant that I took him for a private assessment and didn’t tell her I was going to do this. (I think she actually believed that I was supposed to ask HER permission to have MY child assessed.) She disapproved that I had taken him to outside independent assessors and didn’t make use of her therapists at the school. As if that wasn’t enough, she added that the teachers do not have the time to do extra work with children that require it as they are busy enough. Please note that this is a school that caters for physically and mentally disabled children as well! She was also still insisting I medicate him.

I didn’t get up, reach over and deck her right there and then – but believe me I wanted to. Never in my life have I wanted to deck someone like I did that day. Instead, in the interests of self preservation, I stood up and left.

Later in the year I took my son for his school readiness test at the local government school. (Private education is financially impossible for a single mom) Initially they didn’t want to test him saying he is too young. He was 5 at the time and would turn 6 in May of his Grade 1 year. Once the tests were completed the teacher called me aside and said that she HAS to accept him because he is ready in every aspect. She was just concerned as they had a number of children who would be 7 turning 8 in Grade 1 and she was concerned about bullying.

So now what? Send him to school and deal with the bullies as they appear? He would be the smallest in all school sport teams, and in some cases not even qualify to be in the same team as his class mates. Academically he would fare just fine, but socially I wasn’t so sure.

What finally convinced me was the day we were sitting and talking about this dilemma. He very matter of factly (while dunking his biscuit in his tea) says, “Mommy why don’t you teach me? You know more than my teacher does and you don’t shout at me when I forget to concentrate and work slowly. Also if I am home then the other kids can’t fight with me.” My heart melted, that confirmed beyond any doubt, what this poor child has had to endure while attending school. I did some research, attended a seminar or two and decided on a curriculum.

This is our first year of home schooling and it is going well. I must admit it requires a huge amount of discipline, dedication and effort, but it is worth every minute. He has swimming lessons with kids who are at the same level as him in ability (nothing to do with age), plays golf, and has play dates with children who are older and younger than him. My son is growing and blossoming before my eyes. There is no doubt in my mind that I made the right decision for him.

I am not anti the general school system at all. In fact I would go so far as to say that home schooling is only for specific situations and families I would not recommend it for everyone. But it is right for us.

I’d like to share just a few things we have done recently that we would never have been able to do if he was in the formal school system.

We watched the sun rise & discussed Geography, space, how the earth spins & rotates around the sun, the order of the planets.
After that we had a wonderful breakfast together, he made scrambled eggs while discussing Science and how heat rises and changes the chemical structure of things.
Walks around the estate looking for insects & seeing how they’re made up of head, thorax & abdomen, noticing how they’re all different yet similar.

I am saddened to think that there ARE some children out there whose parents have no choice but to keep them in the school system and are being unnecessarily medicated and misdiagnosed because of educators who are just too lazy to make the extra effort. I am grateful every day that I am able to do this for my child, this is right for us.